Books-My First Love

B

ooks. I have loved books since I was a kid. They always have been my best friend. Went with me through the various countries, slipped past the dunes of time. Who says we can’t travel time, I have been in the centuries that I have liked. They have scared me, taught me love, have betrayed me. Made me sob, unraveled mysteries of the unknown. I still remember the day I held in my hand the first most beautiful book on this earth. I was around 6 years old and was in 2^nd grade. It was our first day in school. We got our time table and voila! Our 3^rd period was of library. 

Labyrinths of unknown and dusty books waiting for us to wipe out the dust and read them to our hearts content. The sacred place where only the big kids could go. That meant I was a big girl too. I felt proud to have grown up to glide away to the library and sit where only the big kids where allowed. I could sense the pride glowing inside me.

I just couldn’t wait to see the mystic library. Bell tolled. The time had come .We were made to fall in line. Noisy kids that we were. Some in line. Some just excited to be outside the class on any pretext. And some like me who were just happy to be finally able to walk the walk towards the alley that leads to the library.

We entered. The library seemed much bigger ‘cos we were much smaller. I got a seat quietly and observed where the books were and when we were going to get them. Other kids were just happy chattering way, but not me. I grew impatient every passing minute. Every minute devoid of the books was pinching my heart. Our teacher told us to write a paragraph on “My school”.

There was no happiness left now in this world … I didn’t have watch then. But time was going to be up any time. But what about my dreams. Did nobody saw the anxiety swirling inside me?

Howsoever, God is always kind. In a carton full of books, there came our teacher distributing us the books. I was so impatient. Why did I have to sit so away from where the teacher was distributing. What if I got nothing and the books got finished and left me. Staring at everybody while they have a gala time reading and mocking me. It would be just so much for me to engulf. I wanted to snatch the books away from everybody. Maybe I had become a devil. The wait had brought the devil inside me. I wanted to wipe out the smile out of every kid.

Just then a brain wave came. I asked madam whether I could fish out a book for myself from another box. Would she understand me and give the privilege. To my immense happiness she said in the affirmative. My hands were shaking. Was this the end of my dreams, would I get what I wanted.

Just then I saw a book withering away in the corner, it seemed as if it was asking for my help. I picked it up and wiped out the dust of its cover. It was titled “The match girl”. Slowly I opened it. It was the most beautiful book I had ever come across. Full of beautiful illustrations and some words that I didn’t even understand. I was basking in my own happiness. My golden book and the golden words- it somehow made me complete. I had found my best friend. The moment is what I still cherish now. The beauty made my eyes water. It was mine. I found it when nobody cared. The girl with the big eyes had bagged my interest. I saw myself in her.

Suddenly my trance broke and one of my friend shouted, “Hey! Look what she has found. Let’s go and have look”. My heart skipped a beat. They were coming to come between us and take this book away from me.They always do. what else could be done? They came, they shrieked, they snatched and I was left alone with the empty dusty carton with me.

Everybody pouring over the book with the girl with big eyes. And me sulking away in a corner. I endeavored that now I would always run towards the library and always get this book and hide it for the next time and would read it all. From that day onwards that book became somewhat of a royalty with us kids fighting to get hold of it. Since that day onwards, I have been an ardent lover of books and still I am.

Love gone forever

A

fter all the times we were together

All that is left is trace love

I try to find the love in my veins

What all I found was sketches of love past

I try to catch the flighty memories

But they slip away like grains of sand

Feels like my heart is thumping in my hand

Deserted by its rightful place

It is home again

I gave you its ownership

Injected into the blood vessels your name

You left it bleeding in the rain

The earth may soak the pain

But it leaves behind the insane

You’re far ahead of me now

I can see you running far away

The place we called ours

Is now deserted and barren

Wears a look of shrubs and thorns

When long ago

It smelt of roses and bougainvillea

We planted them ourselves

But now they are bereft of our love

They wilted without care

Died just like us

One moonlight we met

One eclipse we fought

One dark night we broke apart

Matches are made in heaven they say

Those who sayeth

They doeth

Love is insane

Hate is insane

When I loved you, everybody said I was insane

When you don’t love me anymore

I am still insane

My head comes crashing down

Whenever I think of you

Tears come out as I have opened a tap

I don’t know what to do

Hoodwinked by your love

Everything seems so wrong

Maybe I don’t like the eerie silence between us

We talked of promises

Promises that were never kept

Many that were broke

Many that were shattered

Forgivable are your rejections

And the gloom you cast over me

Never thought that from priority no.01

I’d slip to the no priority list

  It is said that

We always hurt the person

Whom we love the most

But the truth is

I don’t want to be

That person anymore

Never anymore.

The Wanderer Part I

I pick up the few pieces of life

Remainder got lost in time

Some were full of laughter

Some were full of sorrow

With these in my pocket

I set out

For a new game in crazyland

Some call it a land of destiny

Some say it’s full of freaks

But they do not know yet

That I am a juggler of loss

I juggle loss in my hands

People clap when they are amused

And leave when the show’s over

The more I make other’s laugh

More I get imprisoned in the land of grief

Sometimes it drags me

In the deep potholes of sadness

And there’s no coming back

So like all others

I am here to try my un-luck

Maybe it’ll turn around

I walk up to the entrance

A large clown waits for me up there

Across the dias he waits

He calls for the ticket

I have none

There he towers upon me

In his attire of black and white

He represents life

We all have our whites and blacks

How magical he looks

When he shows me his

Enchanting smile

He says’ “Welcome , Madame”

“ Enter here to try your luck

Many a people have walked past me

Some got lucky . Some got failed.

Some got light. Some got darkness.

Come and try your luck.

Come with nothing. Leave with abundance.

Live life fully. Believe in yourself.

Attain the highest pursuit of happiness.,

But there is one thing you should always remember forever”

Me with just a bag of knick-knacks

Asked, “What should I remember?

O! Lord of the mighty gates”

He said, “such reverence is never heard of,

Behold, O Traveller,

Be wary of hypocrisy and wickedness

It’l try to seize you

From right and left and centre,

And when you are not looking

It might attack you from above

When everything seems bright

It might crack open a hole

Beware, O! Stranger

They often wander with the claims

Of a perfect world, a perfect life

Don’t fall in their traps

You may find them

Luring you with their honey laced promises

Going to the moon, giving you glittering stars

They might try to stray you from your path

But do not lose your aim

Keep this diktat in mind

Lo & Behold you go

Go after your destiny, wanderlust.

He opened the majestic gates

A blinding light flashed upon me

From hence I could see none  

The dark Abyss

W

alking down the dark abyss

So cold and creaking

I tread past the ghosts of the past

In the crevices

I had hidden my memories

But flashing through my lamps

They haunt me now and then

Crept from behind

Pierced my heart fragile

Strenuously I walked in fright

Tried to convince myself

Just one step more

And everything would be fine

Just one step more

And I would see the daylight

After every dark hour comes the sunshine

Just have to keep my hopes tight and bright

Reminisces of the past

Don’t help me either

Wonder when I‘ll be alright

Away from the diabolical memories

Sting me right in the middle

Make me cripple in the dark

The pain has its claw tight

Deepening into my flesh

I can’t get up

Hear only howling and screaming

No laughter to dilute the sadness

but only me sifting and trembling in the darkness.

Time lost

W

alking down the street

I see my old playground

I see the swings, the merry-go-round

Feel the child in me

Jumping with joy

The A of the swing

Singing to me

I rush to the swing

The wooden seat

Scratched by so many kids

Invited me to sit

It wants me to awing along

Saying with the swing

I feel the childhood coming back

Once again I want to fly up in the sky

Want to reach for the stars

I want to dance with the clouds

Make friends with the birds

Higher and higher I go

Move with the speed of light

Faster than air I go

Hair swaying back and forth

I can smell the morning glory too

I can even sway with my one arm

I can be a bird

And fly up in the sky

Nobody to stop me

The only place I want to feel like a child

But the creaking of the swings

Brings me back to this cruel world

Where dreams are crushed

As soon as you see them

Not a moment to live the dream

I pick up my bag

And leave for the darkness

Once more again

remedy is love

Some people are very precious for us, it may be anybody.we might not realize their true worth until we get the illusion of losing them. When we get this illusion, it seems like the whole world has blown apart. A void is created in your life, the person whom you could depend upon in your bad and good times is no longer with you . contd...

cruel life

i'v seen only 20 years of this life,but it seems like that i have aged by a few more extra years.kids at this point of life like to party , chill out with friends , get drunk , have one night stands. But i aint any one of them. life was never about the number game, it wasnt like i never liked to get good marks but it was like the marks never favoured me. It was really disappointing to have tried so hard and yet not being able to get what u desire.